David Jones and Terry Fallis put together a fabulous podcast about this post. They recommend couching criticism as a question, excellent idea.

Listen to their podcast here.

I find myself torn on the idea of never criticizing, condemning or complaining. I agree that self-criticism is annoying and unsolicited. Pity parties do not build personal relationships they inspire resentment. But I do not know if I agree that omitting any sort of criticism is a good thing. I grew up with the idea that criticism is what helps you grow. Albeit, the more positively put the criticism is the better the reception. But in order for any kind of relationship to develop it must face some sort of obstacle and be able to overcome it.

However, I say these things in reference to building personal relationships. When you find what someone is saying to you interesting in person you reinforce them by smiling and nodding your head as you listen. Does the yellow Internet smiley face replace this act when you are online? Do the rules change when the relationship you are trying to build is between bloggers?

Second, I think that the gist of this thread is that young practitioners should trust their instincts, but at the same time use their judgment.

One of the first business management books I ever read was “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, written in 1937. It was an eye opener to me at the time because, like many of you, I was an energetic young professional - full of ideas. I couldn’t imagine why people wouldn’t want to hear them. The book taught me how to take the focus off me and put it on you.

I am including a link to a 5 minute version of the book.

What do you think of the idea to not “criticize, condemn or complain?”

Three things to consider:

Interpersonal communications is just like any other form of communications you are studying. There’s a message, a giver, and a receiver. Put yourself in the shoes of the receiver and try to figure out the best way to get that message through so it’s heard and resonates. Each boss is different and you’re going to have to get along with them and figure out their styles over the years because you’ll have many.

Second thing, be confident, have ideas, believe in yourself, contribute…but never fall into the over-confident, cocky crap that some people adopt far too easily. Introducing new ideas is tough and they don’t always take on the first few tries. A little respect, humility and conversation is the way to go. Introduce ideas by asking questions and getting a conversation going. Many people just take their idea and try to kick the door down. Play it cool and ease it in.

Finally, I’ve heard this from a few people: Nobody can ever say something stupid if they keep their mouths shut. Silence is not an option, but listen more and talk less is something you’ll find the smartest people in the room do every day.

Time are changing, and with that comes fresh ideas from a more well-rounded generation. Therefore, if an individual was qualified enough to be hired, then they should be able to share their ideas until they are noted that they aren’t wanted. I understand that you do have to respect superiors, but you shouldn’t be afraid to voice your opinion either. As long as an individual gives an opinion in a professional manner, then it’s fine to share fresh ideas or give some food for thought.